


Day 24: Christmas Crafts ft. Ineffable Bureaucracy

by Pippiuscattius



Series: Pippi's Holiday Shipping Challenge: Take Two [24]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Beelzebub Is Salty, Beelzebub is so angry they don't realize how much they love the archangel, Christmas, Christmas Crafts, Christmas Fluff, Gabriel Is a Bad Actor, Gabriel is so clueless he doesn't realize how much he loves the demon lord, Holding Hands, Holiday Shipping Challenge, In short these two are collectively a hot mess, Nonbinary Beelzebub (Good Omens), Other, POV Beelzebub (Good Omens), Rated T for language, They/Them Pronouns for Beelzebub (Good Omens), Tsunderes, accidental date, paper snowflakes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-17 22:00:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21950371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pippiuscattius/pseuds/Pippiuscattius
Summary: Gabriel has invited Beelzebub to a meeting on earth in, of all places, a workshop for making Christmas crafts. Beelzebub can't believe they wound up in this situation, and even worse can't believe they're still finding excuses to hang around the archangel, no matter how much they pretend to hate him.(This is part of a collection of silly, rushed drabbles for me to get into the holiday spirit. Make of them what you will, and happy holidays!)
Relationships: Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens)
Series: Pippi's Holiday Shipping Challenge: Take Two [24]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1569934
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	Day 24: Christmas Crafts ft. Ineffable Bureaucracy

**Author's Note:**

> My first time writing a Good Omens fic!! :O It's long overdue, I friggin' love this show so so soooo much
> 
> I haven't read the book yet, but I plan to. I hope I was able to write these two without them being tooooo OOC ;w;

This was, like many things on Earth, unbelievably stupid. Stupid, stupid, _stupid_.

Beelzebub could not believe they were being subjected to, of all things, a human Christmas craft workshop. Why Gabriel had chosen this as their meeting point was beyond them; surely a more discreet and less humiliating rendezvous point was available.

Satan, that archangel was annoying, from his forced pep to that dumb, cutesy white scarf he’d taken to wearing more often since winter had inflicted itself upon the planet. And not to mention those ridiculous purple eyes, and that light that shined just barely beneath his exterior—

_Shut up,_ Beelzebub told themself, feeling even more frustrated by the minute. Of all the times to have an internal crisis regarding the archangel _fucking_ Gabriel (his words, not theirs), Beelzebub couldn’t imagine a worse time than when surrounded by humans seated at long, clustered tables strewn with construction paper, scissors, popsicle sticks, and all manner of rubbish.

Beelzebub straightened out the brooch around their neck in a vain attempt to feel at ease. How could they with so many grubby, earthly hands and eyes around, and not to mention (they shuddered at the thought) all the… _children_.

Children were especially easy to tempt, lacking the mental capacities that occasionally made adults more difficult targets. However, the payoff was considerably lower; the worst a child could typically be convinced to do was push someone on the playground or sneak a spot of dessert before dinner. Beelzebub couldn’t speak for their underlings or associates, but they positively loathed dealing with childishness, whether found in an actual child or otherwise.

And speaking of childishness…a bell jingled from the workshop’s front door, and in strolled a white-clad Gabriel. The archangel somehow appeared both stiff and loose at the same time—Beelzebub couldn’t even give themself time to figure out _how_ this walking contradiction of a celestial being managed as much.

Casting his steely, purple gaze over the humans in attendance, Gabriel immediately brightened upon spotting Beelzebub by themself at the farthest table. He marched forward with unwarranted confidence, and Beelzebub resisted the instinct to snarl up at him.

Winking in the least subtle way conceivable, Gabriel cupped his hands around his mouth to address the room at large. “Ah yes, I have finally arrived, romantic partner for the afternoon! Now we may partake in the Christmas Eve crafting festivities.”

Several heads turned their way, and Beelzebub ducked in embarrassment. They swore, they’d _strangle_ that clueless archangel if it weren’t for that adorable scarf tied around his neck—

Ahem. Infuriating, not adorable.

While Gabriel silently congratulated himself on the supposed success of his announcement, Beelzebub glared sharp daggers at him. The nerve of this man; to come in here for a scheduled meeting, which _he_ invited them to, no less, and loudly announce the single most embarrassing cover story to everyone else in the building? Unthinkable. Mortifying. Inaccurate in every single way.

…Which is precisely why Beelzebub was blushing furiously. Because of the shame, yes, and not as a result of any further implications.

Once Gabriel had finally seated himself on the next stool over, Beelzebub swiveled about to give him a piece of their mind. “You are an absolute shit-for-brains, archangel Gabriel—”

Gabriel shushed them, grabbing a white piece of construction paper and pair of scissors. “We can’t be seen fighting if we’re a couple out on a holiday date.” He pushed another piece of paper and pair of scissors towards them. “Here. This will abate any suspicion.”

Growling under their breath, Beelzebub begrudgingly took the offered materials. “Was the cover _really_ necessary?”

“Absolutely and completely!” Gabriel beamed, slicing into his chosen paper at an odd angle. “I’ve found humans don’t bother you if you just act like one of them. And what’s more human than going out for a pointless activity with one’s significant other during a holiday?”

“They probably don’t bother you because they’re weirded out by your overacting,” Beelzebub grumbled, tearing their blue paper by hand. “I already forced my flies to buzz off so I wouldn’t look suspicious; is that not enough?” At the thought, they patted their matted mess of black hair, mourning the lack of their oversized insect companion.

Grinning, Gabriel replied, “No, but it was a nice thought. You look almost naked without them.”

Nearly dropping their paper, Beelzebub’s hands flew aimlessly to cover their body. “Wh-what?”

Laughing heartily, Gabriel patted Beelzebub on the back, a gesture that definitely did _not_ send flies buzzing in their stomach. “It’s a human colloquialism! I’ve been attempting to learn more of them lately.”

Feeling foolish, Beelzebub redoubled their focus on their torn paper, resolutely refusing to let their gaze stray towards their companion. “Just get to the point. What news do you have from Heaven?”

“Nothing notable. Our soul collection rate is up 0.0001% since last we talked. And how’s Hell?”

“The same as always.” Beelzebub stopped, staring into space as disbelief dawned on them. “If nothing’s changed, what the heaven was the point of this meeting?!”

“Hold that thought,” Gabriel redirected, clearing his throat to speak louder. “You are doing a superb job making that snowflake of paper, my romantic partner. I love it nearly as much as I love you!”

Every train of thought in Beelzebub’s mind screeched to a grinding halt. What gave Gabriel the right, the absolute _audacity_ to say such things to them, even in a ridiculous stage yell? And _why_ did it make their face feel like it had caught on fire?

Gripping the paper until it crumpled in their hands, Beelzebub ground out, “Shut. Up. I…I _hate_ when you say things like that!”

Startled, Gabriel brought a hand to his chest. “You…hate that.” Something…almost _hurt_ gleamed like a bright shadow behind his face. “Why on earth is that?”

“It doesn’t matter if it’s on earth, or anywhere else,” Beelzebub rambled, thrown utterly off-kilter by the unbearably soft and vulnerable expression on Gabriel’s face. “Why would you say things like that if you don’t mean them? Doesn’t that go against an angel’s nature, anyway? You’re all about love!”

Gabriel crossed his arms with a petulant huff. “I’m well aware. I don’t say such things unless I mean them.”

Squinting, Beelzebub felt their pulse quicken. “…What do you mean?”

“I mean, who’s to say that I _don’t_ mean it?” A single, unbalanced laugh caught in Gabriel’s throat, and his shoulders lifted like a revelation had just befallen him. “I find your company enjoyable, a nice change from my colleagues in heaven, and truthfully, I didn’t know why I scheduled this meeting until now!” He directed a smile towards Beelzebub. “No business. I just wanted to see you.”

More than anything, Beelzebub wanted to reply. Unfortunately, their brain was too busy short circuiting to procure anything more coherent than, “You…invited me out.”

“Mmm-hmm!” Gabriel hummed, that infuriatingly beautiful smile refusing to abate.

“For no other reason than to see me. Like…” Beelzebub swallowed, but pushed past their hesitance. “Like on a human date?”

“I find human terminology restricting,” Gabriel waved off. “But if you’d like to call it that, sure!”

Despite themself, Beelzebub couldn’t muster up an ounce of anger. No, they were too… _lightened_ by that admission to feel anything other than numb, mounting joy.

“Oh,” they murmured. “Then…let’s just finish these stupid snowflakes, and…continue spending time together doing something else.”

That brightened Gabriel considerably. “Yes, let’s! I had honestly assumed this task to be pointless when it would be so much easier to miracle a paper snowflake into existence, but I’m finding a certain charm about it the more I try to…”

Beelzebub tuned out Gabriel’s cheerful monologuing. None of this felt real, and yet…it sparked a rare, genuine happiness in their being all but long forgotten since the fall.

Somewhere in the middle of cutting hexagonal patterns into his paper, Gabriel reached out to cover Beelzebub’s hand on the table. Beelzebub didn’t retreat or object as they once may have, and if anyone dared question them, they’d say it was all part of their ruse to fool the humans.

_Thus ends the twenty-fourth day of Christmas._


End file.
